Upon learning about my dad's condition - anger was my first reaction.
I was angry at myself for failing to see my father's deteriorating condition.
Was I that blind not to notice that he was steadily losing weight? Don't I have the slightest idea that men in their 40's should be monitored for their blood pressure?
Did I not pay attention to my college professor that hypertension destroys the kidneys? that end stage renal disease is not only the result of diabetes ? that creatinine test is used to determine the condition of the kidneys?
And yes, I was angry with God too. After my mom's death...he wanted my dad's life too. How can he be cruel? I was certain that death is the end of my father's illness that there will be no more cure for him.
We couldn't afford a kidney transplantation and we don't know how long we will be able to sustain his dialysis treatment and medications.
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